A Graduate's Guide to Having NO Idea

“So…what are you doing after uni?” – a question which haunts my nightmares and, right now, can only be answered honestly with “I have absolutely no idea!”. Leaving university is supposed to be one of the most exciting times in your life. The world is your oyster and your options are endless. But the endless options are, quite frankly, terrifying. The last four years were meant to prepare you for becoming a proper adult but personally, I couldn’t feel more underprepared if I tried.

A google search including the words “graduate”, “anxiety” and “depression” brings up more than 75 million results. More than half of those on even just the first page are about the fact nobody talks about the stress, anxiety and depression that often accompanies leaving university. This is a big change and a lot is expected of you. With the pressure of trying to get your life together; working out what’s next; and becoming financially independent for often the first time, it’s hardly surprising that mental health often falls by the wayside.

Some people have their post-graduate life all planned out and know exactly where they’re going; a job with a good salary lined up, a place to live, an actual real life understanding of taxes and mortgages (ha!). But for me, my last semester at uni was accompanied by the bitter-sweet collision of feeling simultaneously so exhausted that nothing sounded better than leaving the damn place and never coming back, but moreso, feeling entirely petrified by what I would do the moment I stepped out the door. In fact, there has been countless tearful meltdowns. This is the rest of my life, and I have absolutely no idea what to do with it.

I have no sense of direction in my life anymore; I’m definitely going to have to stop being drunk all the time; I have to start paying taxes and I can’t rely on my student loan when I’ve spent all my money on ASOS. To be honest, adult life sounds absolutely shit and I’m scared. I find myself telling people I can’t wait to leave when actually, I feel completely the opposite. I’m ashamed of the fact I don’t have a plan, but the reality is I’m far from alone. Leaving uni is terrifying, and for good reason. I can’t be sure, but I imagine the next four years are going to be even more of a learning curve than the last four.

Throughout the meltdowns, nothing has been more comforting than knowing that other people feel as directionless as I do, and hearing the experiences of people who took different routes - work, post-grad degrees, travelling and moving abroad - made the limitless options easier to digest. I’ve collected some stories and advice from graduates (some new, some old, and some prospective) to ease the worried souls out there:

“When I graduated, jobs were few and far between so I knew I’d have to move away… I saw that as a bit of an adventure; meeting new people and seeing new places. Try to think of moving away as an adventure, like a working holiday!”

“I thought that after I left uni that everything would just fall into place. I worked really hard for my degree and assumed that having done the work would be enough. But I have found the reality quite different, and it’s been a real struggle moving onto that next step in my life. Now I wish I had sat down halfway through fourth year and looked at internships or opportunities. It’s coming up to a year since I graduated and I don’t feel any further forward than this time last year. I think the most stressful thing about it all has been realising the problem with the mentality I had when I graduated. I felt like I was crossing the finish line, but looking back on it now, I’ve realised I had just started the race.”

“Basically, my degree didn’t lead into any specific jobs so I didn’t know what I wanted to do. But there is work anywhere so I wanted to travel and see a bit more of the world and find out if there would be more interesting opportunities elsewhere and if I would like to live somewhere other than the UK…also to get a tan!!”

“Finishing university has been bitter-sweet for me. I’m glad to be done with education but I’m going to really miss being in the environment of an art college surrounded by other creatives. I don’t feel too bad about not having much of a plan post-graduation, but I think that is a lot to do with the fact that most of my course mates also don’t have a plan. I’m planning on just winging life and staying happy at all times because that’s the most important!”

“When I was in final year I realised I wanted to do a postgrad. I thought “great, I know what I want to do!”, but I actually faced quite a lot of criticism, which made me doubt myself and feel quite down. My advice is don’t let people tell you what you want to do isn’t a “job”, or that you “won’t earn much money”. And when people say “why would you want to do that?!”, just smile and remember it’s your choice and remember everything will work out in the end.”

“The first few weeks after finishing uni felt like the floor had just been taken out from underneath me. I couldn’t think about anything positively and my anxieties became so bad that I was almost completely non-functional. I didn’t know how I was going to get through the next day, let alone my entire life!!! I was completely unprepared for how purposeless I would feel post-final deadlines. Eventually, after a lot of crying over the phone to my mum and dad, I got on some medication and found some ways of straightening myself out. I feel a lot better now even though I still have no idea what I’m doing! I think all you can really do is try to stay as positive as possible, keep your options open and take care of yourself.”

So that’s that. One thing which has become clear to me is that there is no correct answer to “what are you doing after uni?”. Whichever route feels most comfortable for you is the correct one – even if that’s “I have absolutely no idea!”. If you’re one of the lucky ones who walks straight into their dream job after graduating, that’s amazing! But for most people, that’s not a reality. In fact, perhaps having no idea is a blessing in disguise. You don’t have to settle down immediately. This is the perfect time to do the complete opposite if you decide that’s for you. Move to Australia, or go and do a post-grad in something which has always fascinated you, or travel the world and get a tan! You’ve got time. Whatever you decide to do now doesn’t have to be (and almost certainly won’t be) forever. You can live life one step at a time if that’s what suits you. Even if you have to work some boring, irrelevant jobs to make ends meet, the perfect opportunity will come your way eventually.

It’s certainly ok to feel excited, elated and relieved about graduating. But equally, stress and anxiety are also ok. Even in writing this blog post, my eyes have been opened to the number of people I know who are (or were) just as clueless and nervous as I am. Sure, some people deal with the unknown better than others but discussing the way you feel is important because there’s a good chance your best mate knows exactly how you feel. Having “absolutely no idea!” is nothing to be ashamed of, and life has a way of working itself out.